Transitioning To Our New Life

This morning I woke up to my favorite faces. That’s right! the kids have come home and I couldn’t be any more thrilled to have them again. Unfortunately Sam isn’t coming for good until Friday but 2 out of 3 isn’t bad.

The first daycare place has been checked out. I liked it a lot, it was bright and looked like he would be able to have a lot of fun there. It also happens to be insanely close to our new home. They gave me a packet to have filled out by his doctors. I am pessimistic about whether or not they will accept us. People always assume that they wouldn’t be able to handle having a hemophiliac around. Truth is life is always about rising to the occasion. The search will continue and I hope that I will be able to find a place for him that is fun and safe. I wonder if I would have to leave some factor with the daycare he goes to in case of an emergency. I keep on forgetting to call the pharmacy for Anthony’s new shipment of factor. We postponed getting more because we weren’t sure if he was going to be starting prophylaxis. I still have 2 on hand but I’ve learned that this isn’t always enough and I do like to be prepared. The trouble is when they send out the factor I’ll have to sit around all day and wait for it to get here. It seems like the only days when I have time to do that is on the weekend, which are the days I can’t have it scheduled to be delivered. Regardless, its important to make time for these things but with 2 boys my schedule is becoming more and more jam-packed.

I have been thinking of teaching the boys American Sign Language. I have always felt like they would benefit later in life by knowing another language. I, however, would also have to learn to sign in order to teach them. This may complicate things since the one thing I am not good at learning is another language. I guess it’s time to decide how important the whole bilingual concept is to me. Maybe it will be one more thing to try an accomplish in our new life.  We are already better off than before I think. There is so much room in our new home I am feeling less crazy by the day. =] I’ve looked online an found a class for Anthony to go to at the library and there are so many preschools in the area [if we can find one that we like that will accept him]. I am feeling more sane than I have in a while.

Last night I worked a wedding. [When I’m not being a ringleader for this circus I work for a catering company] I like to work but weddings always get me a little sad. They make me miss my dad more than most things. He didn’t make it to give me away at my wedding or have that dance with me. I keep thinking that I’ll get over it but every time I see a bride smile and dance with her dad I miss mine just a little bit more. He died the day before my Anthony was born. I’ll never forget when they came in to tell me he was gone and that I never got to say goodbye. I like to think that maybe he met his first grandson in passing, maybe he would have been happy that the person he was making room for was Anthony. I know for certain the pain never goes away.

Sometimes I just want to skip to the end. We have so many years ahead of us and so many choices to make. I am interested to see the outcomes and am bored of waiting for the journey. It’s time-consuming but I spend my days wondering how our lives will unfold. I wonder about all the hurts we have yet to suffer and the happiness that will encourage us to continue to move forward….I would at least like to skip passed this week and have my little family all together again.


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